Writing circle notes (29. September, 1996)

This document serves as a literary time capsule from September, 1996, capturing the candid and collaborative atmosphere of a small writer’s circle known as the “Soup Council”. The following notes offer a rare glimpse into the creative process, showcasing how writers navigated the nuances of “showing vs. telling,” technical consistency, and the emotional weight of personal storytelling during the late 90s.

To protect the privacy of the participants, all names have been anonymized (except mine). I do have each person’s story, but I can only publish my own.

Attendees: Sam, Vane, Lee & Jeff.

Stories for today: Long Hair... (Sam), Wednesday...day (Vane), Child Support (Lee) & Hard Case (Jeff).

Additional topics: General silliness.

Long hair.... (Sam)

<Jeff> I liked the way you write about baseball - it kinda brought me back to my own little league days

<Lee> I think that starts out like a “slice of life story” and then pops into narrative

<Sam> I love baseball ... thanks jeff

* Jeff has fond memories of playing, even if he wasnt real good at it

<Sam> is it awkward that way Lee?

<Lee> No, but I wonder if you’re going for the long form then

<Lee> Cause you seem to be setting up for it

<Sam> I have decided to try ... yeah

<Sam> I dunno if it will go that far or not jeff

<Sam> a couple of folks told me they thought the character offered a lot of potential

* Jeff frightened at the sheer commitment needed for that length

<Sam> so I thought I would explore

<Sam> novella or just a “long” short story is moree likely I think

<Lee> Well, there has to be some kinda conflict

<Sam> yep ... trying to find out why she is like she is

<Lee> Cos I think whatcha got there is a lovely character sketch

<Vane> I loved the story - it reminded me a little of King’s TGM where he had Paul Edgecombe relate of his feeling regarding the penitentiary. The character seemed interesting and heart-warming and the scene showed potential, even to a non-sports guy like me.

<Lee> And now you’re obviously in love with her, and you’re gonna have to hurt her now.

<Sam> you like it short Lee ... and I don,t wanna wreck it by pushing it

<Lee> I like what short?

<Sam> the piece

<Lee> Well, I already told you how pretty I thought it was, how good it looks

<Lee> But there has to be more to it

<Sam> why do I have to hurt her Lee?

<Lee> Because all stories are about pain. The good ones end well, that’s all.

<Lee> It has a Radio Flyer feel, to me.

<Sam> but I guess I figure I know how it turns out ... just not how she got there

<Jeff> Yes, Radio Flyer

<Vane> the title didn’t quite catch me personally. In fact, the title made me feel a tad reluctant.

<Vane> And the title did start off the story so for me it had a very slow start.

<Lee> Yeah, the title is kinda awkward, it doesn’t show off what you have there

<Jeff> Its got this great feel of an old memory, well worn

<Sam> yeah ... I guess I have always thought it too short to really be anything

<Lee> But that means letting go of maybe some of the feel of the original, sigh.

<Vane> No, I don’t think you have to let go of the feeling.

<Sam> did you think the change of narrative voice worked Lee?

<Lee> I mean that you will have to PLOT now

<Sam> I guess I feel no real risk in exploring cause I still havfe the original version

<Jeff> Like you said, you got the original - I guess you could try a variety of directions, see which one works best for it as opposed to merely describing

<Sam> yes ... and I need to do that ... really try that out

<Lee> Yeah, thank god, you can save as many versions as you can get on a disk

<Lee> You have any idea where you’re heading?

<Sam> no ... not really Lee

<Lee> You aren’t feeling savaged, are you?

<Sam> not a bit

<Lee> Good, Cause I wanna see you write lots more

<Sam> I plan to Lee ... thanks :)

Wednesday...day [first draft] (Vane)

<Jeff> Your story cracked me up bigtime, Vane

* Jeff thinks Vane is a NUT

<Vane> I had a great time writing it, but I was wondering if I wasn’t a nut or something.

<Sam> prolly got to be [a nut] on some level to write good humour

<Lee> So, I have things to think about here, folks...I think we have a caveman to barbecue now?

* Jeff actually howled at Vane’s story

<Lee> I love it, of course

<Sam> Vane .... I have never read anything like your story before ... so it took me a bit to get into it ... but it is funny_

<Vane> Thanks, I was going for *all out bizarre and fun*

<Sam> And I’m enormously relieved that you thought it was :)

<Jeff> How to become president.... ROFL

<Vane> And you certainly didnt neglect the sense of smell

<Sam> bizarre is a good word ... it struck me as a very mixed voice at first ... but that is a big part of the humour I think

<Lee> Yeah, he pops out of character to give us asides

<Lee> I like that, though

<Sam> do you see it as part of a series Vane? ... the adventures of Oog?

* Jeff wonders what else he could say? The story was funnnnny

<Sam> Yeah, Sam

<Jeff> That would be cool

<Lee> It’s an interesting thought.

<Lee> Vane needs to test all his idioms carefully

<Vane> Aha.... would you elaborate for me, Lee?

<Lee> You need a special section on yer page for that

* Lee is flipping between word and mirc, hold on

<Sam> More Oog? I think that would be a funny project :)

<Sam> I think he is an intersting character Vane ... would like to see more of him ... that’s why I ask re: the series idea

<Vane> Thanks, I feel he’s got some potential too.

<Sam> the presidential election for example :)

* Oog scribbles on his copy.

<Vane> Any comments on the writing itself?

<Lee> I like it

* Jeff wants to make one leeccetle comment. RTF sux. <g>

<Lee> Fui, you mean binary sux

<Sam> That’s a problem actually. I have such images in my head, but my vocab is limiting me.

* Sam abhors binary :)

<Lee> The caveman thing gets around yer shortcoming, though

<Vane> Caveman dialect pretty weird, yes, and yes, isn’t it neat <eg>

<Jeff> Yeah, and you could always have a narrator break out of the dialect, if you want

<Sam> yeah Sam ... I thought you had found a really cool mixed voice for the caveman ... it worked for me

<Lee> He does, and I like that

* Lee Unanimously voted to office during their last hunt. Oog had stayed home and female Glanders were restricted from voting.

<Vane> Now there’s two awkward sentences, I agree.

<Lee> That’s the Vane bit

<Sam> I didn’t say awkward

<Lee> I said it was a comment

<Sam> I’ve hardly read it.

<Vane> Isn’t it awkward? I think so. At least, the last one.

<Jeff> But the idea made me howl

* Jeff really likes this Oog dude

<Sam> you said this was a very rough first draft Vane .... yes?

<Vane> What should I do in my rewrite?

<Sam> I’m not being much help with that Vane ... I am a bit clueless about writing humour ...

<Lee> Nothing really different, just tighten up a bit

* Lee shrugs helplessly

<Vane> Ok... uhm, that idioms comment.

<Sam> I do always fall back on my strategy of cutting out the non-essential

<Lee> Remember that we don’t make plurals with apostrophe, that sorta thing

<Lee> very minor stuff

<Vane> Aha, uhm, yees, more please :)

<Sam> Thanks :) I won’t do horrible rewrite <g>

<Lee> You have a genuinely funny story there, and it’s a delicate thing

<Vane> Thanks :) I won’t do horrible rewrite <g>

<Vane> As opposed to norwegian: geddehell outta here

<Jeff> Or the Texas Idjit : Make like a banana, and leave.

<Lee> Make like a horse turd and hit the trail

<Vane> #), then tighten is the key. I understand.

<Lee> It doesn’t need a whole helluva lot

<Sam> Like I said, I’m glad everyone really can write, because we don’t have to make fake-nice

<Vane> Btw, has anyone seen ID4 - Independence Day?

<Vane> Cause I nicked the whole presidential speech from that movie.

<Vane> made it oogish.

<Lee> Oogified

<Vane> Ah, yes. That’s the expression.

<Jeff> Good oogification

<Sam> Oogified for your reading pleasure.

<Lee> Thanks, now if I see the movie I already know the end

Child Support (Lee)

* Lee braces

<Vane> It’s extremely professional.

* Sam wonders if this is the beggining or middle of something bigger?

<Lee> but is this the start?

<Vane> Gonna be longer, yah

<Lee> I gave up on this for a while

<Lee> I have more but I knew I was going the wrong way with it

* Jeff loved Lee’s story

<Vane> There is nothing to say on the technical side. I’m just horribly envious, that’s all <g>.

<Lee> So I went back to this early draft

<Sam> I ask cause I found the first page a bit tough ....

<Lee> It’s plot where I’m stuck

<Lee> figuring out what was happening ...

* Lee goes to look, she honestly has forgotten

<Sam> There was something about it. Some feeling underlying the story.

<Vane> but once rolling I was lost in it

<Sam> A feeling that there was something about to happen, actually.

<Sam> exactly Vane

* Jeff was almost expecting violence at the end

<Lee> Yeah - there was this sense of expectancy(sp?)

* Lee shrugs

<Sam> Paternity test

<Lee> So you think she should sock him?

<Vane> How are you progressing?

<Lee> no Lee ... it was the other guy at the end I thought might get violent

<Sam> Originally I had Buddy get violent because he got the results back

<Lee> And they said he was the father

<Sam> yeah ... I could see that ...

<Lee> but there is a lot to explore

<Lee> And I had him think that Shelley had been sleeping around rather than what we know

<Jeff> Maybe if you kept their brotherhood secret - and used it as a surprise for the results...

<Lee> you have about 3 really interesting plot lines set up I think

<Vane> Well, then I can’t show you anything that Jon thinks, though

<Lee> Because certainly he’s thinking about it

<Jeff> Hmmmm

<Sam> yeah ... I took that as a *major* motivation for jon

<Sam> a big unresolved conflict

<Lee> I’m unhappy because I feel Jon is too passive

<Vane> But hell if I know just what he oughta be doing

<Lee> maybe explore why he is so passive?

<Sam> more of the history?

<Vane> I do understand how you feel about the story. It’s hard to progress either way.

<Lee> See, I kinda painted myself into a corner

<Jeff> Well, what if the paternity test was at the tail end? So the brotherhood thing could still be a twist?

<Vane> well .... at this point we don,t know how jon and buddy will resolve

<Sam> I think it’d be wise to treat this one as a middle to end part.

<Vane> And explore the beginning

<Sam> and we don,t know what will happen with shelley

* Lee kinda agree with Vane

<Sam> I was afraid all the stuff about the adoption and all would be dull

<Lee> I thought there is stuff before this part that might make it work for you Lee

<Vane> that there is stuff before this part that might make it work for you Lee

<Lee> I liked the way that scene was handled, tho

<Jeff> It would be something to try anyway ... even if it didn’t work it might get you unstuck

<Sam> itn would be something to try anyway ... even if it didn’t work it might get you unstuck

<Lee> I like Delores, I’m bringing her back. She’s Andre’s mother.

<Vane> It’s only gonna be dull if you let it be :). If you can find thoughts, emotions and feelings to express what’s going on then you’ve got a right *good* story.

<Jeff> The description of the office really worked for me - a place where bad news would be taken quietly

<Vane> Worked for me too (office).

<Jeff> Those are great kinds of details

<Lee> That’s MY doctor’s office

<Sam> I am keen to see where you take it Lee

<Vane> It’s stuff I always forget to add in my stories to begin with. On second write I try to add alla that. It’s there, usually, but I’ve not expressed it. It’s a flaw, I guess.

<Lee> I try for hitting all 5 senses if I can

<Sam> that’s a good tip Lee ... thanks :)

<Vane> IT’s better that way but it sure takes time. At least, it does for me.

<Vane> (5 senses, that is)

<Lee> This ain’t the first draft, it’s the 2nd

<Lee> As the 2 in the filename suggests

<Sam> it would be scary if it was first draft Lee .... it is pretty polished :)

Hard Case (Jeff)

<Sam> I told you already jeff ... I laughed *a* Lot_

<Lee> I did too

* Jeff relieved

<Sam> and I loved the surprise when I found where he was and what he was

<Lee> I think you hit on most of the funnier Heaven things

<Vane> The story took a delightful turn, I must say.

<Sam> I was really puzzling over the voice until I got to know where he was

<Sam> then it made total sense

<Vane> The “Zeus rules” made me LOL

<Sam> yep

<Lee> I liked “for my kid’s sake”

* Jeff feeling warm and fuzzy

<Lee> To me, you can be a bit wordy, I’d vary sentence length some

<Lee> But I’m dying to know what happens.

* Jeff is too. Hard to remember exactly what I did with the original

<Lee> Screw that.

<Sam> yeah ... I wanna know

<Vane> I don’t know if I have any real comments. I don’t think you were wordy (I liked it this way, anyway).

<Lee> You gotta write it NOW

<Sam> It was great, of course.

<Jeff> Sentence length.. An example?

<Lee> What I mean is, just mix it up a little, short long and medium

<Lee> For rhythm

* Jeff makes note

* Lee is lousy with grammar, she goes by feel

<Lee> Reading things out loud does help, though

* Oog says hah, he don’t believe Lee is lousy with grammar for a second.

* Jeff couldn’t tell you what part of speech a word is if you put a gun to his head

<Lee> Outside of nouns and verbs, easy stuff. <g>

<Sam> but Lee is right ... its not about grammar

<Sam> it’s about feel and rhythm

<Vane> I’ve come to realize that feel and rhythm is usually backed up by good grammar.

<Lee> What I mean is Jeff has a lot of sentences where you couldn’t get thru a whole paragraph without snatching breath somewhere in the middle of a sentence

<Lee> Well, Vane got the 2nd language perspective

<Jeff> Thanks Lee -thats what I meant. I will look at that sort of thing

<Lee> Well, to me, reading aloud is one of the finer things in life, that’s all.

<Lee> These are nits, probably.

<Sam> jeff ... this is just my technique .... but after first write I go through and take out every word that isn’t essential ... and then build in colour where needed

* Jeff will try it out

<Vane> That *is* a good technique, imo.

<Sam> I just know I get real wordy and always use 2 words where I will do

* Jeff has always liked to be wordy too.

<Lee> If you are just real real attached to something it prolly has to go

General silliness....

Vane> Hehe, I think I did enhance the speech <g>

<Jeff> Lee, the story aint the reason to see this film. The ‘splosions are

<Vane> “Elvis has left the building”

<Vane> Immemorable

<Sam> is that a word?

<Vane> Immemorial or memorable

<Lee> You lil shakespeare, you

<Sam> like, the opposite of unforgettable

<Vane> or: is there another word for weekly.

<Lee> No, weekly is the word for weekly

<Vane> Oh.

<Vane> Then the pun’s lost.

<Lee> Howbout seven-nightly

<Lee> It sounds medieval

<Jeff> quarter monthly?

<Jeff> 1 fifty second annually?

<Lee> seven-night is an old old word for week

* Lee was gonna sock Jeff if he started to divide up a decade

<Jeff> 1/520th....