The Little Piggy
An old Norwegian folk tale (“Grisongjen”) from Bø in Telemark, 1880.
ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS THIS FELLOW, absolutely hammered, who had managed to stumble into a ditch by the side of the road and fallen fast asleep. Now, as luck—or lack of it—would have it, his business was hanging right out of his trousers for the whole world to see.
Along came a young girl who’d been into town on an errand for her mother to buy some groats. She spotted the man, nudged him awake, and pointed, looking altogether puzzled.
“What on earth is that thing there?” she asked.
The man, still half-pickled, didn’t miss a beat. “Oh, that? That’s just a little piggy,” he muttered.
The girl’s eyes went wide. “Oh my, is it really! Does it eat groats?”
“I reckon it does,” the man said, stifling a grin.
So, she scooped a handful of groats into her palm and held it out toward him. After a moment, she frowned. “No, he’s not eating,” she said, disappointed.
“Well, you’ve got to lay the groats right on your crotch,” the man suggested. “Then you’ll see him start feasting.”
She did just that; she lay down beside him, hiked up her dress and placed the grain right there. No sooner had she done it than the man lunged at her.
“Ow! Oooo-ow!” the girl cried out.
“Now, now, don’t you be scared,” the man whispered. “That’s just the little piggy fumbling around, trying to get to the groats.”
When the girl finally made it back home with what was left of her supplies, she went straight for the larder and found a bowl of sweet milk. She poured it into a small wooden trough and held it right between her legs.
“Tsa, tsa, tsa, little piggy, little piggy! Tsa, tsa, tsa!” she called out, coaxing it.
Her mother watched this display with total bewilderment. “I think you’ve lost your mind, daughter,” she said. “What in the world are you carrying on for?”
“Oh, you won’t believe it,” the girl replied. “I met a drunk man on the road who had a little piggy, and the thing ran right inside me! Now I’m just trying to lure it back out with a bit of milk.”
No cod piece? Tsk.
a classic childhood fairytale!